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Quotes from "Asexuality a Brief Introduction" Which Resonate With Me
- I saw sex all around me, but never had any desire to take part. ~
- There were times as I got older when girls did seem interested in me, but I always deliberately ignored their signals
- When I was 13, my father gave me a book on sex education. I felt as if I was reading about a foreign culture; I just couldn't see why anyone would go to so much trouble just to have sex. I tried looking at pornography on the internet. I wasn't disgusted or appalled - it was just boring, like looking at wallpaper
- I'd already resigned myself to a solitary existence. I'd convinced myself I could form strong friendships and was independent enough to fare
- A lack of experiencing sexual attraction is the only thing that all asexuals have in common.
- I Had to do this whole paragraph because it was such gold: "You think of sex in anthropological or scientific terms, rather than romantic or erotic terms. You might be interested in sex, but interested in the same way one is interested in geology or zoology. You see it as an area of study, rather than an area of participation. You might want to know everything about it and read everything you can about sexual activities, practices, variants, and combinations, yet at the same time, you’re not really interested in actually doing any of them. You’d rather watch a Discovery Channel documentary on sex than a porn movie. You’d rather read the Kinsey Report than Penthouse. Sometimes, because of this, you may forget that others typically don’t look at sex as an intellectual curiosity, and you may talk about things in a context where other people are shocked or embarrassed by your openness."
- "You don’t understand what the big deal is. You haven’t had sex for [insert significant amount of time here], so why are other people so worked up about going without for two weeks?"
- "It’s a bit like everyone else is a fan of a sport you’re not interested in. You can watch a game, you can read the rules, you might even try playing once or twice, but in the end, it still doesn't make any sense why people are so excited about getting to third base or scoring a touchdown."
- "You’ve thought, “I must be straight by default”" ALSO THERE IS AN ANALOGY USING VEGETARIANISM WHICH I FIND HILARIOUSLY COINCIDENTAL" It’s a bit like saying there are people who like chicken, people who like steak, and people who like both. You come across a vegetarian and you try to fit them into this limited worldview. “Do you like chicken?” “No.” “Well, therefore you like steak by default.” “No, I’m-” “You have to like steak, because most people like steak, and you said you don’t like chicken.” “But-” “YOU LIKE STEAK. END OF DISCUSSION.” There’s clearly a “none of the above” option here which needs to be recognized. Some people don’t like steak or chicken, and some people don’t like men or women"
- "At the age when most people were hearing about sex and thinking “I’d like to try that”, they were thinking “You want me to do what with WHAT? No. Just. No.”'
- While I have not experienced any sexual encounters, this is how I imagine myself being, and it does not look sexy at all "When you encountered the naked body of someone for the first time in a sexual situation, you looked at it like a real-life anatomy lesson, rather than an object of desire.This one happened to me. I was in my bedroom with my first (and so far, only) girlfriend. Following her lead, we were fooling around a bit. She was wearing short shorts and sitting on my bed. She sat me down on the floor in front of her, spread open her legs, and pulled aside her shorts.I think that most young men in this situation look upon it with unbridled glee. It’s a milestone in their life, something they’d been working toward and dreaming about, often for years. Instantly, their mind fills with ideas and opportunities and a thousand fantasies, any number of which could come true within the next five minutes. For many men, a sight like that is like being invited into the playground of their dreams and told to run wild. So, what went through my mind?“Oh, so that’s how it all fits together!” There was no explosion of sexual urges, no endless stream of desires. I didn’t really even feel compelled to touch anything. Instead, I was busy looking over the terrain like it was a road map, full of places I’d only heard of in passing."
- I also imagine me saying this afterwards: "How could that possibly be responsible for ruining the careers of so many politicians? How could so many people consider that to be the very meaning of life?I don’t know, I guess it was kinda fun, a little bit, sorta. Bit boring, though, too.I mean, seriously? Is that really it? What’d I miss? Meh, whatever."
- Again I have never truly experienced this, it was just so ace I had to put it in here "Instead of looking at arousal as a sign from down below that you need to get all sexed up as soon as possible, you just find it annoying. It’s distracting. It’s random. And, for some people, it literally gets in the way."
- " For some asexual people, the thought “I would like to have sex with that person” could seem as random and unexpected as “I would like to paint that person blue, cover them with twigs, and dance around them in a circle all night”.
- "You thought that everyone else was just pretending to be interested in sex.Many asexuals describe having a sort of “Emperor’s New Clothes” view of sex at some point in their lives: That everyone else is just pretending to like sex simply because everyone else seems to like it, and they don’t want to be the only one who speaks out and says “No, I’m not really into that.” In this view, a sexually charged culture enforces conformity.This view often comes about during the teenage years. The asexual’s friends all start talking about boys or girls, but they don’t feel anything yet themselves. Puberty strikes different people at different times and in different ways, so at first, they’ll just think they’re not there yet, but as time goes on, they’ll realize that they never started getting all that interested in boys or girls. This may lead to thoughts like, “Well, I never got interested in sex, so maybe no one else really did, either. Maybe they’re all just faking to fit in.”
- "That’s not what “asexual” means.And “gay” only means “happy” and “straight” only means “not curved”. Words in the English language can have multiple meanings and can change over time. Deal with it." LOL THIS IS AMAZING I LOVE IT
- "I know that non-asexual people don’t walk around in an endless horny cloud of lust all day, every day, and that everyone feels like this sometimes. But I feel like this all the time. I’ve never found anyone attractive. I don’t know what it’s like to think that someone’s hot. I’ve never passed a woman on the street and had my mind start turning through all the things I’d like to do with her in bed. I don’t relate to the manifestations of sexual attraction that I see around me every day.Ever.And that’s what makes me different. That’s what makes me asexual." This is beautiful LOL
- I feel like people don't realize this about me and they need to know that I am curious, not judgmental- "When an asexual says something like “I don’t look at people that way” or “Idon’t understand why people think sex is so important”, it’s not a value judgment, it’s not an attack. It’s just a statement of fact. They literally don’t feel that way, they don’t understand it."
begin on page 61
Personality and Behavior:
- You don't think about sex
- Everyone else thinks about sex and you have to remind yourself that
- You never/rarely have "urges"
- Your "sex" dreams rarely have actual sex in it
- You’d much rather do X (anything else) than do sex.
- You don’t like masturbating. (Don't understand it? lolz)
- You just pretended to be interested in sex.
- You feel like sex comes naturally to everyone else, but you have to work at it.
- You don’t catch it when people are flirting, even when you’re the one doing the flirting
The Low Down on Sexual Orientation
"They stress that asexuals do not choose to have no sexual desire, and generally start to find out their differences in sexual behaviors around adolescence. Because of these facts coming to light, it is argued that asexuality is much more than a behavioral choice, and is not something that can be cured like a disorder." -AVEN When I read this I thought my search was over. Finally I had found something to explain the weirdness that is me! I have never seen it as a good use of time as searching for sexual partners, participating in the activities and then all the baggage that follows it. Plus, I have genuinely never seen someone and felt the need to go out and kiss their face or even touch them sexually or anything along those lines. The few things I have tried, I find it pointless and uninteresting. It's unique and different than any other activity for sure, but whether or not I felt different after it than before, I am unsure. My idea of the person never changed despite sexual acts, I liked or disliked them the same amount, no added attachment was felt. I feel that the only attachment I can accomplish is through experiences helping each other out, not sexual acts where only the body is objectified. It is still very much in the prototype stage, but I am pretty sure ever since I saw the documentary on it and discovered the term, I have never been lost. It was very similar to the day I was diagnosed with hip dysplasia. Finally I had the language to describe this pain that I had been dealing with for the duration of my life, and I could research and tell others about it. Now with the proper language to describe my lack of sexual interest, I feel like I will not have to worry so much about fulfilling society's ideas about how to live.
Most people really do not comprehend how different most people think about sex, something which is so important to our media, but really is a minuscule amount of our time, if you're a normal person that is. So why do we all care? Honestly why? Maybe it's the asexuality talking, but why do we all give so many shits about who people feel attracted to and want to have sex with? I honestly do not understand it. IF you want to fuck someone with a dick and tits, why should I stop you or care? You do you as long as I can do me. Any type of discrimination or attempts to claim giving equal rights is immoral is just afraid and incapable of human empathy. Like I said in a previous post, carelessness is the great evil. Straight up not giving a shit about someone or a cause is a much greater evil than trying to go against it. At least then you have passion and energy and can be convinced to be impassioned for good as well, but when one is indifferent towards the feelings of other human beings, seeing them sometimes as unique varying species, then we grow ever closer to walking in Adolf's footsteps.
-Me
The College Essay I sent to UofM to show how little I cared about their acceptance
Realities (I don't remember what i was going to write but I'm keeping it here because I think it was epic)
School Registration
-i have no sign off prepared but i should let you know im 16 and dreading it
P.S. Reality did end up crushing these dreams, but I'm OK. I'll be hoping for another chance.
Reaching the Door
- your rocky friend Carmen Sanchez
Spring Hill
P.S. people say i shouldn't be as negative so here i am, trying, and failing
-your non-religious, debating friend Roxy Midru
Battles
P.S. I have a new sign off name
-your fighting friend Roxy Midru
In My Day...
- your ranting friend Waltroud Stewart
Avatar (BOTH!)
P.S. When i wrote this article i didn't know the disaster that is the Last Airbender
-your comparing friend Waltroud Stewart
The Theatre
-Your movie loving friend Waltroud Stewart
The End of the World: 2012
- your predicting friend Waltroud Stewart
Stupid Girls
P.S. I promised to put the new My Crew when i made it so yeah here it is
-your intelligent GF Waltroud Stewart
Next Step
-your quiet friend Waltroud Stewart
Final Exams
- x_x (i'm dead, you can't SEE me) xWaltroudxStewartx
Being (terribly!) Wrong
2009Ok so one of my biggest pet peeves is failing or being wrong! Or someone being better than me at something i know i'm good at, or people thinking i'm stupid just cause of how i look, talk, or dress (see stereotypes below). Yeah this may seem like alot, but they're all centered around being wrong. One example is a pompus, arrogant guy in my school who acts like he's better (and compared to the people he hangs with he is!) than everyone , but outside his circle there are PLENTY of people smarter than him. I beat him in all aspects of ELA like presentation, spelling, and writing. And he knows it!!! He's alwways so mean to me and when i tell people there like 'he's always polite to me'. Uh, that's cause you don't intimidate him, like i do to him and SO many other people. Another, is the 8th grade Adv. ELA test. Yeah apparantely i failed that and now i have a 100% in my current LA class. But guess what? i won a WW essay contest for MSU for 2,000 dollars in scholarship money and got into Advanced ELA 9. If that doesn't read 'ADVANCED LANGUAGE ARTS' then what does?? i don't know, but i'm a lot more capable of things then people think. So there's my write up woot... that was fun!! Some theories i have to say came from the wonderful minds of the Fab 5 i love ya'll queerzo, texaco and fruitcup you rox my sox!!!! it's really nice out so i'm gonna go and im making a my crew 2 so watch out for it CYA!!!!!
-your rarely wrong friend Waltroud Stewart
Stereotypes
2009I wanted to discuss a encounter i had the other day. I was going to the dentist office for the semi-annual cleaning which i absolutely dread! first of all i dislike women working in my mouth for long periods of time, lol you get that!!! second my teeth are so messed up michael jackson seems normal compared to them!!! since they're so rare and different the denstists like start formingmobs round my xrays and huddleing giggling and commenting on them. Its like stripper getting a male model as a client, it's what they live for and a once in a lifetime chance. SO they're so intruigued with my mouth they constantly ask me quetions that i could care less they answer to. When my dad shows up they ask him loads of questions and im sitting out there like "lets get out of here before they ask for loose baby teeth as souvineers" and the lady rudely says "yeah she has to get home and get on the comp to talk to her friends" and i expect some back up from my dad after this very stereotypical phrase and he laughs! Laughs!!! and then says "or talking on the cell phone" LOLOLOLOL!!! no. im standing there like ok, aparently u think im some skinny bimbo who finds chips ahoy and milano online and flirt and gossip to my friends bout it. I felt offended!!!! is this what ppl see when they look at me??? omg im farthest from looking anything like that! seroiusly ask any1.... i wont be anything remotely close next year when i become a social 0. im already feeling it, drifting off into the abis that is teenagehood. ok i tried not to put depressing things in this strict editorial and field diary but i guess i can help it, just like you cant keep angelina jolie from adopting any kids, i can't keep myself from sounding sad, its an inevitability....... this is not how i wanted to end it. i wanted a strong quote on teens and the prejudice names out upon them... but i guess there's no point, ever, in anything.
-your attempting friend Waltroud Stewart
Sex and the School
2008 Today i feel i should bring up the way girls in general behave with guys. They turn themselves into something they're not just for the guy to like you, all because you have low-self-esteem, i know it's said over and over but seriously, it's true. Later in life who are those guys going to fall for??? the smart, normal girls who couldn't give damn. Unless they're total creepers, most guys like girls who are interesting and hard-to-get. Right now, guys are not mature enough to know what they want, basically they can't tell they're brains from they're balls. Seriously, can you imagine a really smart guy talking to someone who doesn't know how to spell orange???? Those girls must be really good in bed cause if they sucked i would head for the hills before i murdered someone of over-annoyance. And speaking of in bed, i happen to know that an 8th grade girl had a pregnancy scare... yes i said 8th. How sad is that? now you realize, im not overexaggerating, these girls really are stupid. Hmmmm, let's go get prego at age 14 so i can take care of a child while my friends are having fun with life.... after the guy leaves me. It happens all the time. I consulted my friend LOLO for a second opinion. "Not very surprising. Sad, yes, but not unexpected for all the trashy girls around...". I mean seriously, does anyone watch the secret life anymore???
-your L.V. friends Waltroud Stewart and LOLO
P.S. LoLo's website www.lolo237237.weebly.com and yes she got the idea from yours truly i love to inspire!
Deja Vu
2008What i've noticed and you may notice too, is that life is full of coincidences and repeating events, or as it's commonly called, Deja Vu. No, what i'm talking about is not the literal sense of Deja Vu (like the event is EXACTLY like it happened before) but the familer sense (like hasn't something like this happened similarly?) Well i have three studies to prove this point. First, my talents, most people are bad in one thing and great at another, i'm just good at everything. I'm not trying to brag, but i'm saying is that i'm GOOD at EVERYTHING never great, never just so-so. I'm better than the average person at basketball, but not even close to better than the average bballa. I'm smarter than the average 8th grader, but cannot contend with the average nerd. I;m prettier than the average person, but can't hold a candle to pretty girls. See what i mean, i'd rather ttly suck is something and then be able 2 pursue somethin tht barely anyone can do better! okay, second, you alredy know from below the friends always leaving clause, and just to add a little somethin also my friend morgan was also suppost to go to adams but now, she probably isan't. i'm the only one who knows why and i have strict intructions to not say. third and definately not the least, love. There are 4 defined steps in my crushes. First, the meeting, we have the same class, or are partners, we always meet on a personal but not too close level. Then, we have some flirting going on back and forth and i kinda start to like him (this is where it all goes down the shitter excuse my french but this is serious) third is when he starts to make fun of or harass me because either he has a gf, not interested, or just a jackass (tht last one is the most commmon) and then the most depressing 4th step, it somehow ends badly like next year or a change of class, or som1 screaming tht you liked him in the middle of a busy hallway. Then it's just ackward and never to speak again. well, there it is..... have fun and submit in the TRL talk what patterns or deja vu you've noticed in your life, or somebody elses'. see ya
-your repititional friend Waltroud Stewart
P.S. I've also been experiencing in my high school days that i always have somebody i get to like towards the end of the year and then all of the sudden summer hits and it's like we don't know each other.... guys suck
P.S. What i've been thinking lately is that what if deja vu is what you have experienced before like in a dream, but since you don't remember most of your dreams you just get a feeling you know? hmmmmmm trickkyyyy stuffff
Moving On
2008 This is an epiphany as one of my lonely nights sitting in my room thinking about life (ask Esme, she knows LOL!) and discovered a very depressing factor in my life. Whenever i make friends they always leave me when we finally got really close. First BFF i ever had was in second grade. We were very close because we were both kinda outcasts. On the day she moved (and didn't tell me) she told me she didn't want to be friends anymore. I later found out her dad was in the FBI and was relocated to Florida, and also her mom told her to say that so it would be easier for me to get over it (i was very closed off and socially retarted back then). Personally i'm guessing she hated me, but i'll never know. 5th grade, a girl in my neighborhood became my friend. We were planning on going to the same middle school, but oh no, she filled out school of choice and left me. When i invited her to my b-day party she was a total brat and complained the whole time. 7th grade, my next door neighbor (already moved away from my house to a differnent city, and conviently at the same time her mom was finally gonna let her go to public school, she was homeschooled b4 that) was moving to Kentucky. I got invited to her going away party and i realized she was a total hoe, 7th graders talking about the most NASTY stuff. I can't even describe if i wanna keep this site PG. 8th grade, my other neighbor who's one year older than me got accepted to the nearby private school (Luna Lovegood Now she has to study all the time and i never get to see her! Now that i'm heading off to high school all my friends (Renesmee, Esme, etc.) are going to the rival school I might get stuck in a new school again all by myself, and people ask me why i'm so closed-off and hidden.. whoever i get close to goes away... and with a bang too!!! I know my site might seem happy-go-lucky but it's really not!!! i'm surprised i haven't ttly turned depressed yet... i'll be there soon though
-your lonely, unlucky friend (not for long) Waltroud Stewart
P.S. Azzi moved to Georgia 2010 :[ Sprinkles went to Saudi :[ 2011 Lost touch w/ Bean Sprout :[ 2011 Abby died Friday, May 13th 2011 :[
Religion and American Television
2008Just this last 4-day weekend (i know it was pawesome right??) i was studying with Renesme and we got kinda sidetracked on some weird religious debate. She is mormon so she was comparing her religion to others and to popular belief about mormons. I learned some things about other religions. Now i know most of you think mormon is some unknown religion, and i thought that too before Renesme told about it. For me i think most religions are a unreal and have no faith in much anything in this world, especially american television. That's presisily the reason i watch asian dramas. While i was with Esme and Alice i was on youtube and they told me to check out their fave show The Secret Life Of The American Teenager. Ok.... THAT SHOW IS MESSED UP! i don't usully yell on my blog, but this is necessary. Now this incorporates with religion because the super-christian girl i somewhat enjoyed some ounce, ends up hooking up in the total jerk who knocks up every seemingly attractive girl near him!! HE knocks up a girl after they first met, they donate their baby to gay people, scarring him forever into turmoil of being teased and ridiculed, never knowing his real parents. While the dad is hooking up with some hoe every weekend while dating an abstinant, ignorant, christian girl who thinks she can convert everyone. All the while her dad does her friends' mom while their both married. And this makes the so go under the streotype that all teens have this kind of life. The theme is also messed up because it is supposdely expressing that the show is happy and cheerful. I'm pretty sure And what's with students asking teachers for condoms?? WTH!!!!??? That is some messed up stuff right there. Well, i let out all my feelings toward religion and bad T.V.Toodles!!
-your religious and debating friend Waltroud Stewart
P.S. I had to rewrite this article for some language and for religious groups ambushing me so if your thinking "Waltroud, you sound restrained?" Well i am, i'm on a leash here guys!
Midterms
2008It's the time for LOVE!!!! No, not because of Valentines Day (definatly not, i always feel depressed on that day while everyone's happy happy) MIDTERMS DUH!!!! How can you not feel loved by taking LONG tests all day????? jK guys but it's still important to recognize this huge event! i also want to talk about love in our country... how there is NONE!!! Barack Obama made a very good stand on this current lack of love (no wonder he's PREZ.)in the bank bail-outs for those stupid bankers who gave loans to peeps who can't pay them back (that's how we got into this somewhat of a depression btw). We need to show love and compassion and forgive those ppl's mistakes. Just like Barack said, "If your neighbor’s house is burning, you’re not gonna spend a whole lot of time saying ‘well, that guy was always irresponsible. He always left the stove on". I'm with Barack on that America is a strong national govrn.(NG) nation, and it's the NG's job to take care of these issuses to make a better whole. But, some dumb people say "Why should we pay taxes for people who can't properly deposit and withdraw money?". If, your talking pratically (not morally, which would be to forgive and forget) what else can you do? These ppl can't pay their loans so who will? If they fall, we fall too. If you can't beat them, join them. Be a part of their problem, solve it and this problem will disappear along with the depression coming your way (sorry to be blunt but that's what will happen). So, you think 'what does this have to do with midterms and love?'. Like midterms, its a test against our witts and knowledge, and like love we must show compassion for those around us, like one big World Wide Valentines Day HUG!!!
-your loving friend Waltroud Stewart
Resolutions
2007It's that time of year again, NO not new year... WE ALL HAVE TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL! jeez, to think you that the New Year was more important than THAT!!??I JK guys im TOTALLY kidding but we really have to make up a list of resolution's for this year and i know everyone's like "Well Rosalie, i thougt you dispiesed cliches, an now your putting them on your website???" Idk if there's anything else to call them but it's still important to make goals, i know all you tink goal making is silly but we all do it anyway, for example my good buddy emmett e told me this year he wanted a GF and i said "That'll never happen you big nerd,you should join the geek squad, but keep trying" (in chinese JIO!!!) (jk i'm not that mean). But i still envy my geeky friend for having a goal out there, i'm not 100% sure what i want, but does anybody?? is it concious or sub-concious feeling of wanting, do you KNOW what it is you want, or do you have a feeling of wanting??? that is the question... okay sorry i'm going all aristotle on your asses... but seriously... think about it !!!
-your philpshphying friend, Waltroud Stewart
Welcome To My Site!
2007Ni hao everyone!!! I'm Waltroud Stewart and welcome to my website!!! we have lots to offer here at Roxy142142 (username and fave designer). First, aycs, i'm a twilighter so this site has wonderful twilighttastic items. Now you ask, why Asian??? well i'm in love with asian dramas!!!! I'm not asian though *tear but i'm very interested in differnent cultures, and i have friends from all different backgrounds!! with each of these unique cultures i enjoy certain things. i enjoy my funny chinese friends T.V. shows, my kind indian friends music, and funny bubbly muslim friends candy (called damla very good! ). I enjoy long romantic walks in the park, and listening to music. JK this ISAN'T a dating site, but just a way to express myself when i'm bored, which happens alot. So i hope you enjoy the site. Bye Bye
- your new friend Roxy142142
P.S. if you need to say something you can't blog about email me in the box below
P.S.S. Don't get confused with all the different names, it's me but i change them to match the story